Crystal Tenko the Fire Flower

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Eragon
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Crystal Tenko the Fire Flower

Post by Eragon » Wed Jun 20, 2018 2:21 am

Profile: X Updated X Changed and made her abilities clearer and changed age.
Name: Crystal Tenko the Fire Flower

Age: 998

Sex: Female

Race: Kitsune

Height: 5’9”

Weight: 58kg

Description:

appearance:
Image

To generalise her features, her expression at first glance can be described as innocent and mature. Her frame is perfectly curved. Her hair free flows down to her waist. Her tails are white as snow and her eyes glow an amber colour. Her white ears constantly twitch and turn to whatever makes a noise or focuses. As for her tails. Nine snow white bushy tails that follow her movement. Constantly shifting according to her mood.

She typically wears a decorated white kimono although sometimes she switches to red.


Personality: First impressions she is sweet, careful, delicate, kind and graceful but when she really opens up she is a wildfire. Full of energy and excitement but still friendly and encouraging. She likes to talk to others and socialise no matter what race you are. She has an air f maturity around her in a way that makes people look up to her as a leader or carer.

Abilities:

Powers:
Nine tails = master of magic. She only needs two more years to become a Tenko. A 'legendary kitsune' where her power is only ever increased and more doors of magical arts are opened to her to develop.

Psionic: This area is referred to as her 'mind powers' or the abilities to communicate or perception beyond the five senses. To start with the basics, telepathy, allows her to read thoughts and communicate with another's mind. Foresight, meaning allowing her to see someones past present and accurately predict the future. She can also cause pain, change how someone feels at the time and change or erase someone else's memories. Although this is typically used to heal illnesses. She can take control of another's mind but she can only do all this if she is able to enter someone else's mind. Scrying is another ability that has become very useful. It means she is able to view other objects or scenarios around the world, however, she needs to know what to look for and needs a reflective surface.

Elemental: Pretty simple. She can manipulate states of matter; Earth, air, fire and water.

Arcane: This is where most of her energy based spells and casts are categorised. Absorption, manipulation and conversion. She can absorb different energies, such as radiation, heat, kinetic, electric, light and so on. She can convert it into another energy and redirect away. Such as bending light around an object to make it invisible to the eye or heat up an object.
Forcefield generations allow her to create powerful manipulated energy that acts as shields. She cannot create it, She needs something to work with.

Summoning: The ability to call for the presence of another. To have a spirit appear or other creatures from other realms. Although it doesn't always mean there is a response.

Necromancy: Able to talk to the dead, create the living and bring someone back to life and have control over them. Although it often has a price.

Manipulation: A combination of other masteries, she created a new type of compressed power which opened more abilities. With it, she can recreate and alter bio-matter. Allowing to heal, change appearnce, change a bodies biomechanics or shapeshift. Able to regenerate organs. But to the more technological side, she can manipulate sound waves, changing how one hears something. Dark matter has also been known to her through this. This is still a new prospect and is still researching in it. So far she can create and destroy elements but only in small amounts.


The Secret Language: Unique to a select few races, certain phrases and a way of thin
king can cast certain spells, create wards, make a ball of energy, enhance an object, etc. The more phrases, words and disciplining one's
mind opens more doors to do more things.

Skills:

She is a mixed martial artist. Extremely quick, light and quiet. Though she is not strong, she can rely on her speed alone to win. She has mastered the katana and staff. Her fan is something she picked up and still needs practice.

Equipment:

She only keeps three weapons. A staff with red and white ribbons tied at the ends. A katana and war fan. She only covers her face with the mask when in a fight or she simply doesn’t want to be seen.

Biography:

Kitsunes are born in the wild. Not being in one place but constantly moving. Crystal was born in a forest near Azuira and for her early life, she stayed around the city. In the outlands where forests bloomed and her family have cover. Her early years were normal. She moved around with her family.

Among their travels, she had experienced many things. New foods, different cultures, met different races and so forth. As for her namesake. When they passed other families or groups and had a chat every time they were astonished at her innocent beauty yet she held a fiery spirit expression hence, her custom title; Fire Flower. It was at 13 years when she had her horrifying experience. On the road back to Azuria just for trade, mercenaries attacked them. Heavily outnumbered they ran not wanting to spill blood but they couldn’t avoid them. Family alike the fought bravely and ferociously but death was unavoidable. Both her parents struck by arrows and laid lifeless in front of her. Filled with hatred and sadness, Crystal turned to her pursuers. Influenced by revenge, gathering abnormal strength she struck them down without mercy.

No parents and a twisted experience had scared her. Though she doesn’t think of it, it’s still there but through it, she had decided her course. To help others in any way she can. Now she walks as a wonderer pursuing her purpose.
Last edited by Eragon on Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:48 am, edited 5 times in total.
Bad tempered, fire breathing, overweight lizards :D :) ;)

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Annasiel
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Re: Crystal Tenko the Fire Flower

Post by Annasiel » Wed Jun 20, 2018 9:08 am

Accepted~
Image "I see things that no one else seems to see..." Image

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Eragon
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Re: Crystal Tenko the Fire Flower

Post by Eragon » Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:10 am

Yeah it is.
Bad tempered, fire breathing, overweight lizards :D :) ;)

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Monika
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Re: Crystal Tenko the Fire Flower

Post by Monika » Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:52 pm

Alright, Eragon. Due to the edits made since its acceptance, your character has been put up for review and needs to be re-accepted before you can post with her again. Because we cannot verify the state of the CS when it was accepted, it needs to be re-evaluated, and the fact that she was accepted before is invalid.

Upon looking at it now, she is far too powerful for Azuria. Magic isn't prominent, and your character has more magic than every magic user in Azuria combined. She is, to be frank, extremely overpowered. There is no one in this RP who could stop her if they wanted to. So we are going to need some severe editing before she's able to be re-accepted.

Starting from the top:

1) Psionic
She has Telepathy, Precognition, Inflict pain, alter emotions, alter or erase someone's memories, mind control, and scrying.

Despite needing to be able to enter someone's mind to control them, and needing knowledge of what you want to look at and a reflective surface to scry... there is NO downside, weakness, or anything to these mental abilities. Memory alteration and mind control alone are extremely overpowered. Adding that on top of everything else makes her psionic abilities unacceptable.

Telepathy is alright, but she would only be able to communicate. Mind reading is a completely different power and would need conditions.

Foresight/Precognition would only be able to predict the future. Retrocognition is for the past, and present would go under divination/scrying. You also cannot 'accurately predict' anything. You will always be in danger of the prediction causing the predicted event. And the moment the prediction is acted on, it will cause the prediction to be altered. These all need conditions on how they are used, as well as limitations.

She can cause pain. This is very vague. What kind of pain can she cause? Is it mental or physical? How does she do it? how does it affect the person? We need all that as well as limitations and conditions for it.

She can alter emotions. Again, no conditions, limitations, or anything.

She can change or erase someone's memories. Again, no conditions or limitations. This one will need big ones.

Mind control will need strict conditions and limitations too. "Only if she can enter someone's mind" isn't acceptable. This would include every single NPC that exists, just about.

Scrying would go under divination, will take time, and would most likely need to be used to see anyone's present. It would also be susceptible to wards and blocks.

So I only just finished your first power, and we have 8 individual powers under it. They will need enough limitations and conditions, or take a lot of prep-time in order to be able to have all of them, on top of the other abilities.

2) Elemental
This is completely vague, with nothing to it except that it's manipulation of four elements. There needs to be some limitations. How much she can manipulate at one time, if it's only one element at a time, or only the raw element and not mixtures.

3) Arcane
You mention 'energy based spells and casts', but I only see perfect, every kind of energy absorption, perfectly converting one kind of energy to another, and sending it back out. No downsides, no weaknesses, no limits. She can literally absorb the radiation and force of a nuke... convert it to something harmless, and send it away. This entire thing is extremely overpowered. There has to be a limit on what kinds of energy she could absorb, how much she can absorb, and what she can convert it to. There has to be a downside to doing this, and how much she can do it.

Eh, the Forcefield generation is ok, but there's got to be a limit of how strong it is, and how long it lasts.

4) Summoning
Need to have specific types of creatures you can summon, and how long they last, as well as what they're able to do.

5) Necromancy
Talking to the dead is alright.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'create the living'.

Bringing back the dead: This is basic necromancy, zombies are a staple of necromancy and it would be expected to have control over them. If you are referring to bringing a person back to life as themselves, but controlling them, I would have to say that would not fall under necromancy and wouldn't be allowed. If you have any downsides to any of this, you would need to state them, not just say that there's a price.

6) Manipulation
There are healing spells, alter appearance spells, and shape-shifting spells. Having one power that gives you access to, essentially, reality manipulation is not going to be accepted. You can have a number of spells that produce these effects, but they all need their duration, limits, and downsides.

I'm not sure what you mean by recreate and alter biomatter, unless you are saying you have full control over people's bodies, and your own, to do whatever you want with them. Once again, this will not be accepted. Same goes with Dark Matter.

There is nothing on how she can manipulate the soundwaves, unless this is an effect like a spell that creates silence in an area, or whatnot.

7) The Secret Language
This is extremely vague. All I get from this is that it's some sort of spell casting that has no set of spells that can be done. So this has the potential to be complete Reality Manipulation. Which won't be accepted either.

Overall, all I see is complete control over every aspect of life and magic, and nearly no limitations, weaknesses, or conditions.
Image
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Eragon
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Re: Crystal Tenko the Fire Flower

Post by Eragon » Mon Jul 09, 2018 2:21 am

Alrighty, I will do a cleanup, than send the edited version via pm if you want me too.
Bad tempered, fire breathing, overweight lizards :D :) ;)

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