The Glass Tower

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UmbraSight
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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by UmbraSight » Mon Nov 26, 2018 5:47 pm

-Leverage
Wedge or word -
I wonder - which is best
to make a man fall fast
- and for good.
//… under her weight, the floorboards gave, and she fell into the dark...// Fall of the Aelir Isles, Vol. III

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Annasiel
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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by Annasiel » Wed Nov 28, 2018 3:48 am

I love it!!!
Alone she drifts from ancient mists
Nary a candle, nary a wish
But in the wont of wandering paths
Through wooded knolls, and windworn crags
She seeks a face she thought as friend
But now -- she thinks as judgement's end

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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by UmbraSight » Wed Nov 28, 2018 3:49 am

Yay! The Annasiel seal of approval!
//… under her weight, the floorboards gave, and she fell into the dark...// Fall of the Aelir Isles, Vol. III

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Annasiel
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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by Annasiel » Wed Nov 28, 2018 3:50 am

All your poems have my seal of approval. <3
Alone she drifts from ancient mists
Nary a candle, nary a wish
But in the wont of wandering paths
Through wooded knolls, and windworn crags
She seeks a face she thought as friend
But now -- she thinks as judgement's end

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UmbraSight
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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by UmbraSight » Wed Nov 28, 2018 5:05 am

<3333333
//… under her weight, the floorboards gave, and she fell into the dark...// Fall of the Aelir Isles, Vol. III

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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by Shinigami » Sat Dec 01, 2018 9:46 pm

The Anna-seal of approval.
Image I am Shinigami, the local god of death.

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UmbraSight
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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by UmbraSight » Sat Dec 01, 2018 10:14 pm

- Summer Kiss

What could he —
have felt — summer’s kiss
upon his back and wind
within his — hair
did he not know —
the melt — or was
it worth — another
Wingbeat before-

(amongst it all —
ocean froth and
call of gulls —
was the rise worth)
— the fall?
//… under her weight, the floorboards gave, and she fell into the dark...// Fall of the Aelir Isles, Vol. III

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Matvey
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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by Matvey » Wed Mar 06, 2019 5:38 am

This is really nice poetry - I ended up reading all of it. You make such nice use of metaphors.

This one is my favourite:
UmbraSight wrote:
Mon Nov 26, 2018 5:47 pm
-Leverage
Wedge or word -
I wonder - which is best
to make a man fall fast
- and for good.
One thing I'm wondering about, though: why do you use such weird punctuation?

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UmbraSight
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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by UmbraSight » Wed Mar 06, 2019 1:14 pm

Why thank you! : )

There are a few reasons behind my punctuation; most of it is due to trying to build a certain flow or rhythm to the piece, or otherwise breaking up whatever happens to be there. It exists to shape how the eye views the poem.

Following that, I just find it aestheticlly pleasing to look at

Also I’m just a Emily Dickinson fanboy, so your millage may vary.
//… under her weight, the floorboards gave, and she fell into the dark...// Fall of the Aelir Isles, Vol. III

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Annasiel
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Re: The Glass Tower

Post by Annasiel » Thu Mar 14, 2019 8:38 am

A - E - S - T - H - E - T - I - C --
Alone she drifts from ancient mists
Nary a candle, nary a wish
But in the wont of wandering paths
Through wooded knolls, and windworn crags
She seeks a face she thought as friend
But now -- she thinks as judgement's end

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