Finished my Character! Any suggestions or changes?

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MonochromePolarity
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Finished my Character! Any suggestions or changes?

Post by MonochromePolarity » Thu Jan 30, 2020 6:59 pm

WARNING: LONG READ

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GENERAL
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Name:

•Mizuki Atsureki (三日月 軋轢)

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Meaning:

•Crescent Moon, Strife

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Nicknames:

•Mimi

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Pet Name:

•Koneko (子猫)

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Title:

•Miss

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Age:

•21

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Date of Birth:

•September 23, 1998

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Place of Birth:

•Kyoto, Japan

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Gender:

•Female

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Sexual Orientation:

•Demisexual

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Romantic Orientation:

•Biromantic

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Relationship Status:

•Single

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Species:

•Mazoku (魔族)

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Ethnicity:

•Japanese

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Race:

•Asian

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Languages:

•Japanese

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Social Class:

•Upper

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Occupation:

•Ex-Miko

•Yōkai Ryoushi (妖怪 猟師)

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Education:

•Informal

•Non-Formal

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Residency:

•Apartment in Tokyo, Japan

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Astrological/Zodiac Sign:

•Tora

•Libra

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ID Number:

•780493279493

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Blood Type:

•AB

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Dominant Hand:

•Left

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Religion:

•Omnistic Spiritualism

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Theme Song:

•Gurenge by LiSA

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APPEARANCE
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Height:

•4'9"

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Weight:

•94 lbs

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Facial Shape:

•Oval

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Body Type:

•Ectomorph

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Build:

•Thin

•Petite

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Cup Size:

•B-

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Eye Color:

•Pink

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Hair Color:

•White

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Style:

•Traditional

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Skin Tone:

•Ivory

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Complexion:

•Clear

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Distinguishing Features:

•When her demonic side is in effect, her left eye will turn solid black with no pupil or sclera and her right eye becomes crimson with a pupil of a feline

•Freckles scattered across nose and upper cheeks

•Beauty mark under left of lip
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Attire:

•Black furisode with a grey cherry blossoms pattern

•Black zōri shoes

•Black tabi socks

•Black bows to tie hair into pigtails

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Accessories:

•Black hanhaba obi with a grey chrysanthemum design

•White cat face shaped mask with purple crescent shape markings on the cheeks, black facial features (eyes, nose, and fangs of a cat skull), black jadeite in the middle of the forehead (in reference to the third eye)

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Grooming:

•Tidy

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Posture:

•Proper

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Gait:

•Slow

•Steady

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Scent:

•Sandalwood

•Figs

•Hinoki

•Yuzu

•Water Lily

•Sakura

•Lotus

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Touch:

•Silky Smooth

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SPEECH
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Voice:

•Lyric Soprano

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Accent:

•Keihan

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Pitch:

•Low

•Soft-Spoken

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Laughter:

•Giggle

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Signature Quote:

•"Have hope. Hope is the first step for everything."

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PERSONALITY
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MBTI:

•INFP-T

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Alignment:

•Neutral Good

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Habits:

•Daydreaming

•Sticking tongue out

•Humming

•Observing others

•Bowing as a greeting and farewell

•Pitch changes according to mood (high pitch when happy and angry, low pitch when depressed and scared/nervous)

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Quirks:

•Shows only right canine/fang when smiling

•Religiously cleans self after every task considered dirty or impure

•Oblivious to any form of attraction

•Obligated to pet every cat in sight

•Refuses direct eye contact when communicating

•Smiles and nods during conversation

•Avoids fighting as much as she can

•Readily puts self into danger to save others

•Can only tell the truth

•Points with an open hand

•Gives subtle hints on how she feels

•Slurps loudly when eating

•Nods to show thanks

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Fears:

•Bugs (especially spiders)

•Becoming corrupted

•Not being able to save a life

•Becoming sick

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Temperament:

•Melancholy-Phlegmatic

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Ennegram:

•The Investigator

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Morals:

•Saving Face

•Honesty

•Loyalty

•Tolerance

•No Judgement

•Faith

•Integrity

•Patience

•Responsibility

•Justice

•Oath

•Respect

•No Harm to Children or Nature

•Compassion

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Hobbies:

•Training

•Reading

•Learning

•Listening to Music

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Skills/Talents:

•Cooking

•Singing

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Sense of Humor:

•Childish

•Ironic

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Pet Peeves:

•Loudness in people

•Disrespectful and cruel people

•No sense of modesty in people

•People sneezing or coughing without covering their face

•People that loses face

•When people are late

•People not wearing a face mask when they're sick

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Savvy:

•Cats

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Guilty Pleasure:

•Has a nuigurumi of a black cat with yellow eyes

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Motivation:

•Keeping humans safe

•Love

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Priorities:

•Friends

•Family

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Philosophy:

•Harm none, do as ye wilt. - Wiccan Rede

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Traditions/Superstitions:

•Derives from Japanese culture and religion (Shintoism, Buddhism, and Itako) and Paganism

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Favorites:

•Neutral Colors

•Cats

•Udon, Ramen, Nori, Sushi, Donburi, Oden, Soba, Sukiyaki, Miso Soup, Nikujaga, Curry Rice, Unagi no Kabayaki, Onigiri, Gyoza, Gyudon

•Coffee, Matcha, Mugicha, Genmaicha, Ryokucha, Sakura Tea

•Metal, Rock

•Horror

•Winter

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Non-Favorites:

•Bright Colors

•Bugs

•Sweets, Dairy, Takoyaki, Okonomiyaki, Tempura

•Aojiru, Ofukucha, Alcohol, Milk

•Pop, Rap, Country

•Romance

•Summer

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Likes:

•Animals

•Food

•Helping

•Music

•Learning

•Witchcraft

•Art

•Nature

•Reading

•Dim and Dark Lighting

•Nuigurumi

•Meditation

•Incense

•Candles

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Dislikes:

•Prolonged Socializing

•Losing

•Loudness

•Shopping

•Closed Spaces

•Touching

•Physical Affection (Not Including Cats)

•Disorganization

•Salt

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Strengths:

•Laid back

•Friendly

•Curious

•Good listener

•Introverted

•Intuitive

•Observant

•Prospecting

•Idealistic

•Seeks and values harmony

•Creative

•Dedicated

•Hard working

•Integrated

•Empathetic

•Compromising

•Open minded

•Sees the good in all

•Kind

•Motherly

•Calm

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Flaws:

•Curious

•Erratic

•Private

•Stubborn

•Introverted

•Feelings over thinking

•Turbulent

•Naive

•Idealistic

•Altruistic

•Impractical

•Dislikes dealing with data

•Takes things personally

•Sensitive

•Selflessness

•Vulnerability

•Vindictive

•Scatter minded

•Despondent

•Lack of visible/detectable emotion

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Vices:

•Gluttony

•Envy

•Wrath

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Virtues:

•Patience

•Dilligence

•Temperance

•Charity

•Kindness

•Humility

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HEALTH
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Condition:

•Healthy

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Fitness:

•Active

•Athletic

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Energy:

•Energetic

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Memory:

•Well

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Senses:

•Heightened

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Hygeine:

•Up-Kept

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Mental Illnesses:

•PTSD

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Handicaps:

•Completely Blind in Left Eye

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Allergies:

•Sunlight

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Medications:

•Akuma Tsubuun (Demon Reduce, 悪魔 通分)
°Keeps her demonic side weakened down to prevent full corruption

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COMBAT
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Powers:

•Enhanced Condition

•Telekinesis

•Death Force Manipulation

•Necromancy

•Curse Inducement

•Demonic Force Manipulation

•Mediumship

•Claw Retraction

•Powerful Bite

•Soul Absorption

•Weather Manipulation

•Magic

•Umbrakinesis

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Ability:

•Adept

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Tools:

•Mind

•Incantations/Chants

•Hand Motions

•Emotions

•Katana

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Weapon:

•Kage Yokusei (Shadow Control, 陰 抑制)
°A special katana made by a Kannushi with a black blade and a black guard around the handle that has a special ofuda engraved into it, Yuugata Uchiseku Akuma (Dusk to Negate Demon, 夕方 打ち消す 悪魔), that helps her to use her Umbrakinesis through the blade without risking corruption
°Blade is made with special metal that is lethal to Yōkai

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Immunities:

•Demonic Power

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Weaknesses:

•Holy Artifacts and Magic

•Salt

•Sunlight

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Restrictions:

•Unable to achieve full demonic form and all demonic powers

•Can't absorb human souls

•Weather Manipulation can only be seen when she is in a vast amount of anger
°No control
°Only summons a thunderstorm that causes carbon to release into the atmosphere, making it hard to breathe

•Enhanced Condition's speed is not able to be at full capacity
°Slower than supernatural beings

•Telekinesis is limited to the minor movement of light weighted objects that are 10 feet away

•Must rest and regain energy after using magic/kinesis
°Going past her limit will render her unable to use it anymore
°Trying to use any more after she expels her self empty, she will end up going unconscious and remain that way depending on how much energy she tried to bypass and even as going as far as being forced to consume souls to regain back what was lost

•Has no control of Death Force Manipulation
°Risks the dying of beings (even fauna and flora) around her and even of her self
°A purple aura that gives off of her that causes the affects

•Necromancy is only effective on those that she has killed
°Has to have an outstretched open hand directly over a corpse for it to work

•Must consume energies to survive

•Curse Inducement only causes bad luck and minor injuries and illnesses
°Invoked by incantations/chants

•Magic is used offensively and can only be used when infused with forms of kinesis/manipulation, as well as defensively (such as when combined with Umbrakinesis to form a force field/shield)

•Demonic Force Manipulation is the very source of all of her powers
°Risks corruption when using it too long or too many times

•Fangs and claws are as sharp as a full blooded demon's

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Alternate Forms:

•Japanese Bobtail Cat (fur is the same color of her hair and eyes are the same as hers)

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STATS
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Constitution:

•20/30

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Strength:

•18/30

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Dexterity:

•14/30

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Intelligence:

•25/30

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Wisdom:

•20/30

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Charisma:

•25/30

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BACKGROUND
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Family:

•Mikomi Atsureki (Hope Strife, 見込み 軋轢 - Mother, Deceased)

•Reiko Kousenteki (Ghost-Child Warklike, 霊子 好戦的 - Brother, Deceased)

•Koihi Kousenteki (Dark-Fire Warlike, 濃い火 好戦的 - Father)

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Pet:

•Kemuri (Smoke, 煙 - Cat, Deceased)

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Friends:

•Ureshiiko Kitashin (Happy-Child North-Heart, 嬉しい子 北心 - Deceased)

•Hinhana Mori (Elegance-Flower Forest, 品花 森)

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Sensei:

•Itako Kitsune Otsuge (Fox Oracle, 狐 御告 - Former)

•Kannushi Akari Kaminari (Light Thunder, 明かり 雷 - Current)

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Infancy (0-2):

•Born to Mikomi and Koihi due to a contract made between her parents, Mizuki started life like any other traditional, ordinary family. She lived blissfully and happily. Both of her parents were frequently present in her life.

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Childhood(3-12):

•Once she reached the age of 3, her parents gave birth to her younger brother, Reiko. Life began to gradually take a turn for the worse.

•At age 9, her father started to train her and her brother to be like demons, putting them through gruelling physical and mental training. Seeing that the two couldn't become apathetic or reach full potential of a full-blooded demon, he became less involved with them. As time had pass, he became hostile towards them and became abusive towards their mother.

•Once she became 11 years old, her and her brother befriended a grey cat they affectionately called Kemuri. This had enraged their father and caused him to mercilessly murder their newfound pet in front of them. He soon began to become abusive to the two siblings.

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Adolescence(13-19):

•When Mizuki became 13 years of age, Mikomi had enough of Koihi's cruel treatment towards the family.

•It took an entire year of planning for her mother to take action. However, their father was well aware of this scheme and was beyond furious. He attempted to stop them by killing them. Bravely, Reiko had fought him and made his mother and sister run. Holding hands as they ran away aa their brother instructed, Mizuki had looked back in shock and horror to see their father effortlessly kill her brother. Her father was reaching close to them, putting doubt into their hearts of escaping. Time had paused as Amaterasu reached out to Mikomi. The Goddess had offered a deal with her - in return for their safe escape, her mother would have to offer her devotion and worship onto the Goddess. Agreeing, the two were teleported to safety. As a final gift, the Goddess had help bless her daughter to forget all of her memories and replace them with that of a one that had made it seem to be as if she had no brother and her father had passed away. Mikomi had kept her promise with the Goddess and soon became a Kannushi with her own shrine, Kyoto Akebono Miyai (Kyoto Dawn Shrine, 京都市 曙 宮居). She had trained Mizuko to become a Miko that would perform Kagura at rituals and festivals. She had created a special o-fuda with Oou Mazoku (Conceal Demonic Being, 覆う 魔族) engraved into it that was worn on her daughter's obi to hide the demonic side of her, passing off her daughter's peculiar appearance as albinoism. Her mother was strict about the traditions and practices of Shintoism, refusing to let her daughter partake in anything that was considered taboo.

•At age 16, Mizuki started to sneak off and explore Kyoto. She had soon met Itako Kitsune and became a disciple of hers, learning about Mediumship and Paganism in secret. She had met Ureshiiko during her exploration of the city at a food stand, the two quickly becoming friends and spending a lot of time together.

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Adulthood(20-21):

•Once she turned 20, Mizuki had attended Seijinshiki. Mikomi became persistent in pestering her daughter about marriage after this ceremony. Mizuki and Ureshiiko had spent the night together on Setsubun as Ureshiiko's parents were out late shopping for the preparations of the holiday. As the two were alone in the house, a Tengu had attacked them out of nowhere. Panicked, Mizuki had unconsciously used Death Force Manipulation before passing out. It had successfully killed the Tengu, but at the cost of Ureshiiko dying as well. The process had destroyed Mizuki's o-fuda, giving her mother a divine signal of the happening. In a hurry, Mikomi had ventured out to their whereabouts. She was horrified to what she saw. She had used all of her strength to carry Mizuki away, then carried her daughter to the vehicle and headed off to Tokyo. She brought her daughter to Shutoken Uchiseku Miyai (Tokyo Dusk Shrine, 首都圏 夕方 宮居) after contacting Kannushi Akari about the scene as she drove. Akari had performed a cleansing ritual on Mizuki, forcing an Akuma Tsubuun down her throat.

•A long time had passed before Mizuki ever woke up. Once she was awake, her mother and Akari had explained what happened. Her mother reluctantly confessed to what her daughter was and what her real childhood was, explaining that Mizuki was to stay at the shrine to train as a Yōkai Ryoushi. Mizuki was hesitant and uninterested in her training with Akari and other Kannushi and Ryoushi, not paying attention and putting little to no effort into it. Her mother would frequently visit her and fuss at her to take her duties seriously. She slowly became friends with Hinhana, one of the other Ryoushi.

•At one of her mother's routinely visits, Mizuki soon had the horrible realization that it would be the last as she witnessed her mother being murdered by a demon. Her anger had manifested a thunderstorm, causing it to be difficult for the Kannushi and Ryoushi to fight the demon. Akari had no choice but to use a spell of chanting to make Mizuki pass out. After this event, Mizuki became serious and fully dedicated in her training. Akari had allowed her to live alone within Tokyo on her free time to relax after training and to keep a look out for any threats.

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Powers:

•Mizuki's powers derives Demonic Force Manipulation that is given to her through her bloodline.

•After the incident at Ureshiiko's house, she had vowed to never use Death Force Manipulation.

•Akari had taught her of what all she is currently capable of and could be capable of. He warned her that using her powers would put her at risk of becoming corrupted. He had forged Kage Yokusei specifically for her, training her how to be proficient with it and how to kill Yōkai. He informed her that demons usually need souls to survive and replenish their energy, but had taught her that she could feed off of the scraps of energy given off of sentient beings as a replacement. She focuses on feeding off of energy and will only choose to consume a soul of an evil entity if it proved to be too dangerous to be left alone. She strictly uses her katana when in combat and will only use her powers in times of emergency, such as her katana being out of reach.

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Reyn
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Re: Finished my Character! Any suggestions or changes?

Post by Reyn » Thu Jan 30, 2020 7:18 pm

It looks nice, but most RPs on the site have their own CS templates with the information the RP requires. These are usually found in the first few posts of the RP Request thread.

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illirica
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Re: Finished my Character! Any suggestions or changes?

Post by illirica » Thu Jan 30, 2020 7:53 pm

I feel like this is a lot of too much information, even, and I think you know that. A lot of this is going to be the stuff you just have in the back of your mind that most people don't need to know about your character - get the info out there through roleplay and actual posts, rather than just putting anything and everything into the bio.

Also, avoid lists. Avoid lists like the plague. People don't want to read lists.

Here's some ideas:

Casual CS example thread - see how the OP requests certain information in the very first post there? That's the information that they're looking for to start the RP. They don't need a whole lot of other stuff, and in fact too much info at the casual level can make it harder to get stuff started.

Here's an Intermediate CS example thread - again, the OP is pretty clear about what they want. There's more info here than in casual, but not necessarily an innundating amount.

An Advanced Example - at this point, there's a lot more detail being asked for, but you'll notice that none of it is lists. People are writing paragraphs of description, and subtleties of personality come out through tone and backgrounds.

Some Sandbox Examples - Now, we're bloody bonkers over there, but you will still notice it's no lists! Details in Sandbox, like in Advanced, come through in the tone of the CS, the paragraphs being written, and the artistic styles chosen for the post codes.

Essentially, what you have there is sort of a "good for personal use" template, but it's probably not going to be what people need or want for a RP. You probably also want to think carefully about designing your character in too much depth before you have a place to put them, because with a lot of on-site RPs, you're going to be better off designing a character to fit the setting rather than trying to wrap the setting around a character that already exists.

It's also important to keep in mind that you don't need to know everything about your character right off the bat! You might be writing with them for months before the topic of coffee comes up and you need to think about your character's beverage preferences - it might even be something it's better not to think about too early, so that you can adapt those little moments to what feels right at the time rather than trying to conform to what you had originally written, even if it doesn't fit your mental canon any more.

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MonochromePolarity
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Re: Finished my Character! Any suggestions or changes?

Post by MonochromePolarity » Fri Jan 31, 2020 1:47 pm

illirica wrote:
Thu Jan 30, 2020 7:53 pm
I feel like this is a lot of too much information, even, and I think you know that. A lot of this is going to be the stuff you just have in the back of your mind that most people don't need to know about your character - get the info out there through roleplay and actual posts, rather than just putting anything and everything into the bio.

Also, avoid lists. Avoid lists like the plague. People don't want to read lists.

Here's some ideas:

Casual CS example thread - see how the OP requests certain information in the very first post there? That's the information that they're looking for to start the RP. They don't need a whole lot of other stuff, and in fact too much info at the casual level can make it harder to get stuff started.

Here's an Intermediate CS example thread - again, the OP is pretty clear about what they want. There's more info here than in casual, but not necessarily an innundating amount.

An Advanced Example - at this point, there's a lot more detail being asked for, but you'll notice that none of it is lists. People are writing paragraphs of description, and subtleties of personality come out through tone and backgrounds.

Some Sandbox Examples - Now, we're bloody bonkers over there, but you will still notice it's no lists! Details in Sandbox, like in Advanced, come through in the tone of the CS, the paragraphs being written, and the artistic styles chosen for the post codes.

Essentially, what you have there is sort of a "good for personal use" template, but it's probably not going to be what people need or want for a RP. You probably also want to think carefully about designing your character in too much depth before you have a place to put them, because with a lot of on-site RPs, you're going to be better off designing a character to fit the setting rather than trying to wrap the setting around a character that already exists.

It's also important to keep in mind that you don't need to know everything about your character right off the bat! You might be writing with them for months before the topic of coffee comes up and you need to think about your character's beverage preferences - it might even be something it's better not to think about too early, so that you can adapt those little moments to what feels right at the time rather than trying to conform to what you had originally written, even if it doesn't fit your mental canon any more.
Thank you so much!! I'll go check them all out.

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MonochromePolarity
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Re: Finished my Character! Any suggestions or changes?

Post by MonochromePolarity » Fri Jan 31, 2020 1:48 pm

Reyn wrote:
Thu Jan 30, 2020 7:18 pm
It looks nice, but most RPs on the site have their own CS templates with the information the RP requires. These are usually found in the first few posts of the RP Request thread.
Thank you!

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